In reality, New Years Eve is no different from any other day out there - begins at midnight, has a sunrise and sunset, is 24 hours long and ends at 11:59 p.m. However, the new years means so many things to people. It signifies the closing of a chapter and an opportunity to begin a new journey. In my opinion, the best thing about New Years Eve is the symbolism it represents. It allows someone to say goodbye to all regrets and hurtful memories and look forward to a better future. Whether those memories completely fade or the future is indeed better is subjective and dependent on that person. If they allow negative thoughts to come back, the new beginning will not serve its purpose.
2010...
A lot has happened to me within the past year. To say the least, it has been a roller coaster ride of emotions - good and bad. Its funny, a year ago today I thought that 2010 was going to be a new beginning for me. Everything seemed so clear to me - I was so sure this year was going to be "the" year. Of course, certain events transpired within a month that brought me back to reality. You never really know what the future will hold.
2010 has brought me a lot of heartache. My heart got broken - ripped out and stomped on would be a better description. I was betrayed by someone I thought loved me. Me being the hopeful person I am, I actually thought the person and I could be friends - I tried, I really tried to be. Nothing could take the memories and the pain away. Not to mention the subject of betrayal tried to make my life hell even though she has gotten exactly what she wanted. She kicked me while I'm down, so to speak.
In losing this person, I lost my identity here in Florida. All that I knew down here was linked to him. Most of my "friends" down here were his friends. I should have realized they were never truly my friends. Once we were over - even after how badly I got hurt - they stuck by his side and shunned me (aside from a few who I will forever cherish). So, I lost my "love", my "friends" and my dignity all at once.
Along with this loss, I also realized a person I had thought cared about me as a friend was never a friend at all. Thinking about it, I guess I knew that all the time. It still hurts, nonetheless. So just looking at these facts it would appear that I was down and out - alone in a new place.
Luckily for me, the positive came with the negative in 2010. I found not one, but two part time jobs in my field in a rough-and-tumble economy. I decided to stick with them as long as it took to move up in one organization or the other. I'm proud to say I was quickly noticed at both places and being a great worker. One one hand, I was employee of the month and gained placement in one of the best areas of the stadium. On the other hand, I got recognized and offered a promotion within months of starting. If that wasn't enough, I got a second promotion within a couple months of the first. Even if everything else seems shaky, at least I know my career is starting to take off. I finally found a place where people believe hard work really pays off. :)
More than just career advancement came out of these jobs. First of all, a new love for a sport (baseball) and team (Rays) formed. I've never been more excited for baseball season to return! Then, of course, I met great friends at both jobs. I have two "sisters" that have been better friends than I could have asked for. They make me feel at home in this crazy, new place. Then, there is my "Rays family" - never a dull moment! They have definitely made me feel included and at home down here in Florida. My TSA crew also have been pretty great. Its great meeting a bunch of people with the same interests.
This New Years Eve, I want to say goodbye to all the negative feelings and bad memories. Those who treated me badly in the past do not deserve a second thought in my future. It is time to move on from all that upsets me and move forward towards happiness and positive thoughts. I will, however, hold onto those people and memories who have contributed to my happiness this year.
On to 2011...
With the new year comes resolutions. People set New Years Resolutions year after year. Some will stick, most won't. Here are my resolutions for 2011:
I resolve to cut loose any people who continually make me feel bad about myself. I am who I am, nothing less & nothing more. If thats not enough, so be it.
I resolve to continue my healthy eating/exercise kick I began months ago that has since tapered off. I had never felt or looked better. Its time to get back to that.
I resolve to keep working at my career - set goals, accomplish them. I never want to be in a rut for too long.
I resolve to do things I have wanted to do for a long time. I want to continue to learn how to play songs on the piano and guitar. I want to learn photography and take beautiful photos. I want to begin volunteering in this community and enjoy meeting new people and doing good. I want to spend more time outside and be more active. Essentially, I want to utilize my time off from work better than I have been doing.
I resolve to write more often - whether it be on my blog, poetry...etc.
Finally, I resolve to open my mind and my heart to new ideas. This could mean a lot - trying new things, meeting new people... etc. It may seem vague, but I know exactly what it means to me - that is what matters!
Tomorrow begins a journey for me. Hopefully this coming year will begin better then the last. I have said my goodbyes and am ready to welcome 2011 and all it has to offer!
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